Men.
Why does our culture continue to raise men who think it is ok to buy sex?
One of the most troubling truths in the issue of sex trafficking is that the demand is seemingly endless. Human trafficking is the fastest growing criminal business in the world, second only to drugs. The most agreed-upon statistics for the global profits earned from human trafficking (calculations seen in the 2005 report from the International Labour Office report by Patrick Besler) equal US $32 billion. Of that number, $28 billion comes from sex trafficking. The business runs with a backbone similar to any other market: supply and demand. Demand in this context is men who are willing to purchase. Back to the original point, there is a horribly high percentage of people in this world who see nothing wrong with buying sex.
Many women work in advocacy groups, and many people refer to sex trafficking as a “women’s issue.” As a male, I have no idea why. Neither does Paul Bowley of Wellspring Living, who I interviewed last week. When I asked Paul what he thought about this, he said, “It’s a men’s issue! The issue is with the victimizers, not the victims…. The perversion of men is a destroyer of culture…. These guys are stealing something they can’t give back when they use these girls…. We can’t just be content with the fact that laws are changed, we’ve got to make sure our sons and husbands aren’t buyers, and that our daughters aren’t victims. More respect for young girls’ lives – that’s the type of message we need to be sharing.” – and that’s what’s on my heart to share.
The Meet Justice team has attended human trafficking events and meetings all summer long, and I have noticed a common thread. An endless number of ideas exist about how the community can fight sex trafficking, but one thing that is undeniably true is that, at the core, our culture must change. Ask any advocate against this crime and they will agree—our culture must permanently shift away from the false norm that says it is ok for men to pay for sex with girls and boys.
Where does that “norm” come from? I have no idea. It could be the media that promotes a sexualized culture. It could be the ease at which boys can look at porn, starting at young ages. It could be the fact that manhood has been twisted in such a way that the objectification of women is considered to be a top quality (see blog on Tony Porter’s speech, “A Call to Men.”). Regardless, somewhere along the way society has gone horribly wrong, because there are enough men across the globe who are willing and able to collectively pull $28 billion out of their pockets each year to pay to have sex with exploited victims—that’s a phenomenally high number of men.
Where has good judgment gone? Where have values gone? Where has respect for women gone? Fill in the blank there with everything that should define authentic manhood, and, especially in the face of sex trafficking, all one can do is ask the question, “Where have men gone?”
The phrase “boys will be boys” is very common – and, in my opinion, very frustrating. Sure, as a guy I do find a lot of humor in this concept. For example, if I have to be in a coat-and-tie ready for a dinner date at 6:30, I’ll get in the shower at 6:20. I’ll seize any opportunity I can to get my clothes dirty outside. My car is typically a mess on the inside, and I forget to do my Christmas and birthday present shopping until the very last minute. In all of these situations, one can very humorously apply the phrase “boys will be boys” to my life. But, in the context of sex, the phrase “boys will be boys” is a poor excuse, a passive cop-out.
Passivity has been the downfall of men since the beginning of time. When Eve ate the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, Adam just stood there and watched—thus the pattern began.
Sure humans are sex-driven by design. But since when does your craving for sex selfishly trump every ounce of dignity that another human being has? Why does your “yes” overpower the victim’s “no”? Who gives that authority? And for pimps, how do you strip every ounce of self-worth from a human, and then sit back and amass a fortune from other men abusing her body for sex? If we look past the surface (which is hard enough to do, given the fact that these actions are so unbelievable), we see a way deeper issue on the table.
If somebody’s self worth comes from degrading another human being, there’s a deeper issue. Maybe they were never told (or given any reason to believe) they have any self worth, so they create it on their own. Maybe what we are missing in this picture are people truly loving people. Maybe it all just boils back down to love…
Men, I’m incredibly far from perfect. At the core, we’re all in the exact same boat. But let’s rise up together, live different, and leave an impact on our culture forever. That sounds like something I want to be a part of…not the alternative.
I want men to know freedom; I want men to know true life. And my heart breaks when I see a culture swamped with greed and crime, both large-scale and personal.
“The issue is with the victimizers, not the victims,” said Paul. Men need to stop thinking it’s ok to buy sex, and you and I can control that in our own society by raising boys who won’t grow up thinking like that—boys who treat women with the utmost respect, and who value the life of everyone on this earth.
About the author, Hunter Chapman
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